morning, love.

this was written early this morning.

i sit here in my corner of this joint. there's hustle and bustle and then, periods of calmness. it's been a while since i've done this, sat in my little corner for hours on end.

strange how everything is different yet the same. i recognize many faces that come through those glass panels. these are people i've never spoken to but have observed enough times to feel as though i know them personally.

the first familiar face today was mr. cap. his cap usually in his hand with a folded newspaper under the same arm as he walks in, puts his cap on the table and goes up to order his usual. his actions were the same, as predictable as before. but he looked different... somewhat older.

has it really been that long?

it's fascinating to watch the world move and time tick. the transformation of this place from the wee hours in the morning when the sun has barely risen to what it looks like later in the day. the same goes for the place outside the protection of these glass panels. all very much the same place, but the atmosphere is totally different.

i'm glad some things always stay the same. there's comfort and stability in knowing so. but as much as there's so much to love about routine, there's no escaping change.

this is the same corner. but this person sitting here, i can't exactly call the same person. i feel different, bruised by life.

can't believe it's almost been two years. this little corner surely brings back memories. back then, i was here so often. when i checked my phone for the time, some automatic reaction in me wanted to send you a good morning message. like i used to, everyday, for the past god knows how long.

but it's not surprising that i stopped myself.

there was once i tried and fought to hold on to familiarity, then there's now. i'm trying to let go. something in me died the day you decided to give up on me. i still can't even figure out what it was.

i picked up some miniature dandelion-like weeds on my way home. with a little self-induced wind, they separated and disembarked. i've been trying for so long and i've failed, many times. i wish letting go was that simple.

in the meantime as i continue to try, i'll still be able to find joy and a sense of peace in watching the sunrise from the side mirror.

for that, i am thankful.