i smell like peach.

i don't believe in fairytales.

i miss my friend.

i need sleep.

fat hope

wanted: new songs for emo days.

damien rice doesn't seem to work on me anymore.

or maybe i'm getting better. happier.

meh, just wishful thinking.

today, we had fun.

board games and video games filled our time.

around 3am, we were at this mamak stall for supper.

a big part of malaysian culture.

i soaked in the atmosphere create by the sea of people keenly following a football finals match.

it's been a while.

i have a cupcake comparison post to write. i'm sorely disappointed but hardly surprised. it's just another reminder why i started baking in the first place.

that's for another day.

today was another one of those days where things don't feel quite right. and no matter how wonderful the day progresses to be, you just can't shake off that uneasy feeling.

i guess sometimes, the pieces don't fit anymore.

when i feel overwhelmed or when tensions run high, i try to open up my mind. i think of all the people who are going through worse. it helps me stay calm. i try to control my emotions. i admit, it's not something i'm very good at. i try.

but sometimes i wonder if it's worth doing all this for people who aren't even trying for me?

golden rule, my dear. golden rule.

give even though i might never receive.

be nice even to the people who might treat you like trash.

someday i'll learn to see pass this.

someday.

hello junior year,

please treat me well. i'm determined to do well. hopefully, other circumstances won't stand in my way. :)

this month has been stressful and on the most part, unsatisfying.

but the smallest things have made it easier to go through the month.

like that impromptu lunch in the middle of finals week where we played foosball.

or yesterday when we played on the seesaw while waiting for the others.

or times where we talk about nostalgic old video games like street fighter or that circus game we played on consoles that are now extinct.

the laughter during times like these are... real.

so simple, so carefree, so genuine.

is this what it feels like 24/7 for a kid?

my list before the holidays end

chocolate pavlova

cheesecake

cream puffs

shortbread cookies

chocolate mousse cake

i think i can. i think i can. i think i can.

uh no fun being sick when you don't need an excuse to get out of doing things because you're on holiday! at least the last day for finals wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. flu, shoo. be gone so i can start on the 'spring' cleaning, window shopping trips and baking sprees!